India introduced colour TV to the country in 1984. The biggest event to follow soon after TV going colour was Asian sports I think. We had a black and white TV at home. My wife was keen to get a colour TV if it was possible but I did not have the money to buy it. The irony was that I had a good job but poor savings. She had reconciled herself to watching the event in black and white or occasinally watching it in colour at our neighbour’s place. I was determined to get her a colour TV but did not know how to get the money for it.
“Were you not the manager of Ogilvy & Mather Bangalore then?”
“Yes, Prasna.”
“And you did not have the money? How can that be?”
“I had just finished paying my housing loan and I did not have cash to spare. My savings habits were poor.”
“God help you then.”
You could not get personal loans from banks; hire purchase schemes were cumbersome. I could not ask any of my friends because most of them were in the same boat. (I learnt later that some of them were planning to ask me for money.) That left only two options for me. One was to ask my father-in-law the other was to ask my father. I did not feel comfortable asking for money from my father-in-law.

The only choice I had was to ask my father. My father had already retired and leading a peaceful life out of his modest savings. He strongly believed in the dictum that you must learn to live with what you have. He disapproved of borrowing anything. If I asked him for money to buy a colour TV, I would probably get advice on saving money.

Therefore I decided not to ask him for money. Yet he was the only one who could help me, because I knew he could give me the money if he wanted. How do I make him want to give me the money without my asking for it? This did not seem possible.

Then something interesting happened. It was a Sunday and all of us were having lunch at home. My neighbour walked in and invited us for his silver wedding anniversary. He spent a few minutes and left.

“Is it ten years since you got married?” That was my father who asked.

“Yes, time flies!”

“”How are you going to celebrate it?”

“Well, we could all go out for dinner. Otherwise nothing much.”

“What gift are you giving your wife?”

“Nothing really. I do not think a tenth anniversary warrants anything special.”

“Ok, what would you like me to give you both as our gift?”

“Frankly, I do not want anything.”

“Ok you can be a kill-joy if you want to, but what about Viji? What would she want?”

“Appa, I think you are getting carried away. I do not think it is necessary to make a big thing out of this anniversary.”

“You stay out of this. You can’t stop me from giving a gift to our daughter-in-law.”

“What if she wants something expensive?”

“So what, it is a big occasion. What do you think she would like?”

“You know she is not into expensive clothes or jewelery. I know what she might like but I do not think you should spend that kind of money.”

“Listen son, I am asking for information, not advice. What would she like?”

“If you ask me she would love to get a colour TV. But Appa, I don’t want you to spend so much money on this.”

“Colour TV is such a good idea. How much will it cost?”

“About Rs 15,000. Please Appa, you should not spend so much.”

However, my father had his way and gave a colour TV as a gift for our wedding anniversary. It came just in time before the Asian sports event.

“What has this story got to do with developing a strategy?” I sensed that Prasna was irritated yet curious.

“Prasna, if you carefully go through the conversation you will notice that I was pressing the right buttons all the time.”

“What buttons?”

“As the conversation unfolded I realised that he is a tough father but a soft father-in-law. Therefore I said I did not want anything. The entire discussion was about a gift for his daughter-in-law. When I kept saying he should not spend too much money, he took over the entire decision making process. It was his decision to gift a colour TV. ”

“I think you are just a cheap manipulator. You conned an old man to give money from his savings.”

“Harsh words Prasna. My Dad and I agreed that I would treat a substantial part of it as a loan and I would return the money once I got my bonus for the year. He was gracious enough to agree.”

“I am relieved to hear that. Where is strategy in all this?”

“Prasna, you have not been listening carefully. The first insight for strategy emerged when I realised that I cannot ASK my dad for a loan; he must want to GIVE me money.”

“That was good thinking.”

“Once that was clear, the anniversary gift discussion was a god-send opportunity. All I did was to build on it. The big insight for me was that he is a tough father but a soft father-in-law. That understanding helped me steer the conversation to a conclusion that pleased him. Of course it help me solve my problem. There are several things I learnt from this little incident.”

“What did you learn?”

“The first step in strategy making is to understand what you are up against. It is important to get this right. You must know where you are and where you wish to go. Moving something from point A to point B requires imagination. It requires making choices that will help us move smoothly and deliver maximum impact. Finally everybody must feel like he won.”

“You think this kind of thinking will work every time?”

“All I can say is tat, it has worked for me.”

“You have triggered some thoughts in my mind. I will leave you alone now. Bye.”